Posts Tagged ‘car crash’

Saucy Jack and the Space Vixens – Fysh 2 Fry Theatre at The Golden Arms Pub, Bedford

June 8, 2008

While the idea of a play with a space theme, in which disco music and glittery fashion play a major part, seemed a good idea, in retrospect I’m finding it almost impossible to write about this show. It was clearly done by an amateur theater troupe, and I can’t really find it in my heart to rip them apart. I mean, maybe all of the major talent migrates to the big city from the hinterlands; maybe the middle and minor talents do, too. I doubt that anyone who goes to see this show is expecting, I don’t know, Hairspay, but I’ll say just a little bit about it for those who, I don’t know, like that car-crash feeling.

1. The theater (a side room attached to a pub) smelled like mold, yet through this I could smell the man taking our tickets – as in, as I stood five feet away buying my tickets, I could smell him though the mold. Fortunately, after I walked away from that part of the hall, I could only smell the mold. (I am guessing the Ouse had flooded the bar at some point, or something along those lines.)
2. The bar had neither cider nor hard alcohol, so I was stuck drinking overpriced, tiny bottles of red wine.
3. There were cute lights on the tables you could press to have the saucily clad waitresses slash cast members take your drinks order. This was fun. I only wish there had been more things I wanted on the menu.
4. There’s probably no reason to ever perform all of Baker Street or Leaving on a Jet Plane to a theatrical audience – the songs are just too horrifying, especially when performed by people who don’t sing well, or at all. (I was told the second song was actually supposed to be bad – but it was actually sung well, though that didn’t make up for the horror of hearing this song in its entirety.)
5. The script was trying to be bad, and yet, in the spots where it wasn’t trying, it was still bad, and not in a Flash Gordon kind of way. It was just poorly written.
6. The consistent highlight of the night was watching the expressions on the faces of the 8 year old girl, 11 year old boy, and mother and father sitting at the table across the way from us. From the very start, when we were introduced to characters “Vulva Savanna” and “Willhelm von Whackoff,” I was pretty sure this was not in any way a family friendly show. (I’d also been told that the space vixens used dildos for their rayguns, but this was not the case in this show.) I couldn’t imagine why they were there, unless they were just absolutely lacking in any kind of live entertainment in Bedford. Over and over again I saw the boy smirking at a joke he shouldn’t have understood while the girl looked confused or bored. However, he roared out loud at the necrophiliac moment. And, man, when the bartender and Wilhelm stripped to their lurex short shorts and sang “Fetish Number from Nowhere” – I thought the mom was going to spontaneously combust.
7. I didn’t leave at intermission, but in part this was because I was stuck in Bedford. That said, this still wasn’t the worst show I’ve ever seen, though according to the person who encouraged us to see it (and who is a huge Saucy Jack fan), it was, in fact, the worst version she had ever seen, though she still enjoyed herself in spite of this fact and is going to see it again, somewhere else, next weekend.
8. Both “Glitterboots Saved My Life” and “All You Need Is Disco” were pretty good songs, really. I certainly could relate to them.
9. The Bartender was absolutely the most fun to watch of any of the cast members – he had a real talent for upstaging much bigger roles.

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