Mini-review – Bare (“the rock musical”) – Greenwich Theater

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Oh, the disappointment. Promised young teenaged gay men (or people pretending to be them) engaging in (mimed) sexual axtivities on stage while (possibly) wearing very little – and all being done to a rock soundtrack – I had a feeling that Greenwich Theater’s Bare was going to tick so many boxes on my like list that I was going to walk out dancing and singing and high-fiving any passing stranger.

It was not to be. On most of the areas which I judge a musical – songwriting, acting, singing, music – it was flaccid. The actors (and their characters) fought to maintain even two dimensions; the songs showed both a complete lack of inventiveness for lyrics and unmemorable melodies; many of the performers had second rate voices (Michael Vinson); it just failed to even slightly “rock” no matter how loud it was.

Were high school people really as shallow as this play made them out to be? Is coming out really worthy of this much badly-written attention? I managed to feel a bit of emotion as Peter (Vinson) and his mom struggled to communicate; and I got quite enthusiastic about “(Inside Every Gay Man) There’s a Black Woman.” But what is wrong with a gay rock musical when the best song is for a (possibly straight) woman, that a musical about high school kids saved its best tune for a teacher? Why was everyone dressed so badly? How is it I saw the ending coming from about minute 5 of the play, as dreadfully obvious as The Awakening or The House of Mirth? Aaargh. Maybe this show is enjoyable for 18 year olds with underexposure to musical theater; my feeling is that any adult gay male (or, frankly, any fan of musicals) will get a lot more out of The Light Princess.

Ah, well, the house was full anyway and people seemed to be enjoying themselves. But it was just an utter disappointment to me; less uplifting as well as less fun than Rock of Ages. Bah, I say, bah.

(This review is for the performance that took place on October 11, 2013.)

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8 Responses to “Mini-review – Bare (“the rock musical”) – Greenwich Theater”

  1. jason Says:

    Think you mean Peter !! Can’t even get the correct character ,Understand you hated it but at least if you bother to write a review be accurate .

  2. Suzanna Says:

    What a shocking review! I don’t know what you were watching but I fail to understand how you could write such a negative response to a musical that has had such good reviews, you were clearly the only one that thought this. A valid point there, you don’t even have enough respect to remember the characters names! Poor form!

    • webcowgirl Says:

      Suzana: I fixed my mistake with a few keystrokes. But what will it take to make “Bore” better? My opinion is hardly the only negative one: in addition to getting roundly trashed in The Stage, the gay actress sitting next to me – NOT in her teens – also found it flat and flabby. Might I suggest you scout a little more widely for negative views? I found The Stage’s review right after mine in Google search.

      • Suzanna Says:

        I would hardly call that ‘trashed’ as you put it, they mention mainly the storyline of ‘Bare’ not being up to scratch and very predictable, not the potential of talent in the musical. I have read previous reviews with some minor negative responses however the positive overall feedback seems to outweigh the bad. However, I find yours to be particularly scrutinizing to the professional actors, I believe they have done justice to a ‘maybe seen as poor writing musical’. There was a huge amount of talent to be seen and for you to mention Peter to have a ‘second rate voice’ is absolutely baffling to me. I think it’s evident that the musical is being ‘trashed’ not the acting ability that you seen to slate.

      • webcowgirl Says:

        Glad you enjoyed the show, each to their tastes is my motto. So you’re friends with Peter?

  3. Suzanna Says:

    I am interested in the age range of this musical though, how old are you if you don’t mind me asking? I’m not friends with him no but I just thought the talent was more to be spoken for.

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