Mini-review – Opening Night -Gielgud Theatre

Last night I went to see a preview of “Opening Night” at the Gielgud from the £20 upper circle (chosen because I have hated everything Ivo Van Hove has directed and didn’t want to commit more despite Sheridan Smith).

Wow. A play about a play in which the characters hate the characters they’re playing (and each other) and are actively angry at the author for the play she’d written. A lot of it is sung, although the music wasn’t memorable despite being written by Rufus Wainwright. A lot of it is videoed and shown live, with Sheridan Smith’s face the size of the entire stage, making me feel like I was at home in front of the TV and cock blocking me from actually having a theatrical experience while inside an actual theater. Jesus. What was left to go wrong?

I, too, found myself hating the characters, both the ones they played and the ones THEY played, and actively being angry at the author for writing such a piece of dross. At the interval my companion turned to me and said “Well, I guess I don’t understand musicals.” I paused, then responded, “Oh I do, and this one is actually just bad.” We were easily able to agree to cut our losses for the evening and headed to the stairwell for the long trudge downward to freedom.

Never has art so perfectly and with such nesting doll cleverness imitated life. As we walked out, the woman in front of me exiting the theater was offered a wrist band “to come back after the interval.” She responded, “I shall not be returning, ” with such iciness that she singlehandedly undid global warming.

I award this show negative stars for being such a waste of talent – I would almost pay to end it sooner if I could and to watch Sheridan and Rufus working in better shows. Thank God I was only out £20 and one hour. It’s always risky to see a show this soon but I think there will be nothing that can fix “Opening Night” before or after its own opening. May I suggest you instead see “The Lonely Londoners” at Jermyn street, which had four characters (and more) I really cared about, making decisions about being human, but with more panache? Now that was an evening worth remembering.

Tags: Gielgud Theater, No more video projections please, Opening Night